fallen
by muzzleflash-epitaph
Summary: everything naota loved had left him. all he had now were ways to numb the pain. when the last peice of light in his soul leaves him, what else can he do?


the sun hadnt yet risen over the tiny town of mabase, japan and most of its inhabitants were asleep or just beginning to stir. but in one small room above a long aboandoned bakery, one young man sat in the same place he had sat for many hours. his name was noata nanbada and this was just one in a string of god knew how many sleepless nights he had sat through with only a bottle and a pack of cigarettes for company. his alarm clock buzzed and he knew school would be starting in an hour and a half. he didnt realy care but he had long since discovered that it was easier to just go than listen to ninamori rant about him being a dilinquent for hours on end. he sighed and stood up.

he lazily walked to his bathroom and turned on his shower. he waited for the water to heat and carelessly tossed his cigarette butt into the toilet. he quickly stripped himself of the tattered black jeans and faded t-shirt he had been wearing all night revealing two tattoos. one of which was a pair of amber colored eyes with a mangled blue bass guitar behind them on his right arm and on his left three black words were scrawled across his skin in flowing black letters. it read:never knows best. he had gotten them done in a dingy apartment by some out of work tattoo artist he had met through his father. that was how it had to be. away from the eyes of the world. hed never have had someone do them in a public parlor. it wouldnt have seemed right. they were more than ink and flesh. they were peices of his heart. every time he looked at them he remembered the two women who had inspired them. sure, he admitted to himself, it hurt like hell to remeber and some days he wondered why he had even gotten them. he mentaly shrugged. maybe he liked to hurt. hell it was better than nothing and at the time nothing was all hed had.

he turned off the shower and stepped out. quickly pulling on some clothes from the pile he kept on the counter. he quickly put on the black jeans and tank top that had happened to be the first things he dug out of the pile and walked out of the small bathroom. now came the important part of the morning: his walk through the places he had grown up and the memmories that came with them. he threw on his black leather jacket and reached into the cabinet above his small stove to retrieve a bottle of cheap whiskey hed bought the day before. he opened it and took a swig before sitting down to put on his shoes and socks. his simple morning ritual completed, he opened the door of the bakery and felt the cold december wind on his skin.

he looked back at the deserted bakery. his father had moved to tokyo after his buisiness had taken off and noata had chosen to stay behind. shigekuni had died five years ago of a massive heart attack and left his father the bakery ,which he hadnt bothered to keep open, so it and a check every month for noata to live on courtesy of his fathers small company were all noata had left of his family. he took another gulp of the amber liquid and shut the door. he took a kind of twisted pleasure in the fact that he could feel it burning all the way to his stomach. at least it was honest. it always did the same thing, no surprises, no let downs.

he walked down the street silently sipping at the contents of the bottle until he came to the bridge over the river. daisuke and kasanagi had died here two years ago when daisuke had lost controle of his car swerving to miss a drunk driver and the car had smashed into the levy wall. it was part of the reason noata didnt own a car. he wouldnt risk it the way he was now. there was no reason his misery had to endanger anyone else. besides, what was the point of a car in mabase? there was nothing to drive to and yet it seemed the streets were packed with honking cars in a hurry to go nowhere. just as he was enjoying the pleasant floating feeling in his head, he felt a pang of friends were gone, mamimi had left after the incident with chanti, and then there was her... noata didnt even speak the wild eyed aliens name anymore. it felt like some kind of curse.

as he gazed over the river bank, he couldnt halp but think of mamimi. instinctively he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit it with his cheap lighter. the side of it bore the same words as his arm. just as mamimis had years before. it was an odd habbit he sometimes mimiced when he was bored or when he was feeling particulrly sentimental.

he took the last few gulps of his usual breakfast and tossed the bottle in the river. he trudged on toward the high school. when he finished his first cigarette he lit another. he knew ninamori wouldnt approve of smoke on his breath but she would probably keep her mouth shut. if she smelled alcohol however, things could get a bit out of hand seeing as it was school. he couldnt help but smile. eri. she was the one person who kept him going. the only one out of all of them who was still there. it had surprised most everyone when the two of them had started dating in junior high and surprised them even more now that the two were seniors in high school and still going out.

he walked through the entrance and the halls as he alwys did. ignoring the strange looks people gave him and not speaking to anyone. eventualy he found ninamori sitting with her back propped against some lockers and as always, her nose in a book. "hey eri." he said with a casual smile. "hey" she smiled back as she lay her book down beside her. "we still on for this weekend?" he asked casualy. "yep, my parents will be gone all weekend and ill have the house completely to myself." she said with a grin. "cool" he said just before the bell rang and everyone began to bustle toward their classes. the day blead into monotany as it always did and before nouta knew it it was time for the final bell and he stood up from where he had been napping on the rooftop and began the trek home. since they were planning this big weekend, ninamori decided to accompany the young nanbada to his place.

when he entered the small apartment over the bakery he looked back at his girlfriend. "you wanna watch a movie or something?" he asked. she nodded and went to find one. he walked into the kitchen and opened the cabinet. he poured what was left of a fifth of vodka into a tall glass and toped it off with orange juice. "hey eri, you want something to drink?" he called. "sure, ill have a soda if you have it." she replied. he grabbed one from the fridge and walked into the living room. he handed her the soda and sipped some of his own drink. they sat on the couch to watch the movie ninamori had chosen, one of many romantic comedies that she had a habbit of leaving there when she brought them over. soon enough they were lying down. and noata found it very hard to concentrate on the screen. she was so warm and her scent was intoxicating. before he knew it his eyes grew heavy and he knew only darkness.

hours later the sound of a passing train on the nearby tracks roused the young man from his sleep. he looked out the window to see that the sun had already begun to set and to his bemusement, ninamori was nowhere to be found. he sat up and noticed a small white envelope on the arm of the sofa. it had his name on it so he picked it up and tore it open. when he opened the letter he instantly recognized ninamoris imaculate handwritting.

the letter read:

Nouta,

ive been trying to find a way to tell you this for a long time. when we graduate, im going into law school, ive been accepted into harvard in the u.s. i dont realy know of any good way to say this so ill just put it simply. i dont think we should see each other anymore. im sorry and i hope you can find a way to forgive me.

love,  
eri

his blood ran cold for a moment as the implications of what he had just read set in. it felt strange. he didnt feel anger or saddness or regret. he didnt feel anything. just cold. the one thing he had treasured in the world was gone now. he didnt have anything left. she had left him for good. just like his brother. just like all of them. he couldnt help but chuckle. it was a hummorless sound. he didnt know what he was supposed to want now. he hadnt a clue what to do. all he knew was that he didnt want to be here. he walked over to the cabinet and opened it. there was half a bottle of wine he had bought for him and eri. he opened the bottle and drained it. all that was left was a pint sized bottle of whiskey and a half a pint of taquila. he grabbed them and put them in his pockets. his body moved on its own to the door and he didnt even bother to lock it behind pulled the whiskey out and took a long gulp. it was as if his body knew instinctivly where he was going. soon he was standing beneith the very bridge that he and mamimi used to meet under. he leaned against the wall and slid down to sit at the base of the levy.

he sat that way for a couple of hours, just sipping on the whiskey and smoking cigarettes until the sound of footsteps caught his attention. he looked over to see a girl with short black hair and pale skin walking toward him. she looked like the steriotypical rocker. "hey man can i bum a light?" she asked putting a cigarette into her mouth. he carelessly handed her his lighter and she lit her cigarette and handed it back. a few momments passed in silence with only the sound of their breathing as they smoked to interupt the still night before she spoke again.

"so whats your story?" she asked casualy watching him take a long drink from his bottle. "dont have one." he replied flatly before draining the bottle and throwing it at the levy wall where it shattered. "my story ended a long time ago." he finished pulling the half pint of taquila from the inside of his jacket. "so you sit here killing yourself with that shit?" she asked a bit amusedly. "you got a better idea?" he asked flatly. "well as it so happens im in posesion of some of the best kill around." she said with a grin. "Pots for kids." he said in a flt voice. she pulled a joint out of her pocket and tossed it into his lap. "tell you what, this one is on the house." she said cooly. "once you try it i guarantee youll come bck for more." she bragged as she scribbled her number on a candy wrapper she took from her pocket. "my name is sakura but everyone calls me saki." she said as she walked away.

nouta wasnt realy one for drugs but at this point he didnt guess he had anything to lose so he picked up the joint and lit it with his lighter. for a few minutes he just sat and puffed on the illegal herb while he drank the last of his liquor. when he stood up he felt as if he was floating. he grinned. maybe this stuff wasnt so bad after all.

he lazily trudged home and enterd to find the same thing he always did. nothing but memmories. "fuck it." he said as he plopped down on his pillow and fell, almost instantly into a peaceful sleep. 


End file.
